


Before You Go

by lovelywarriorprincess



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-04-19 03:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4731479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelywarriorprincess/pseuds/lovelywarriorprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU. Born with a gift or what she considers a curse: Regina Mills is a college freshman at StoryBrooke University. With the ability to see someone's future death with one simple touch, she desperately tries to keep to herself and not interfere with the fate of another. When the optimistic and charming Emma Swan enters her life only for Regina to see her murder, she decides it's time to bend that rule. How far would you go to save someone you love? Slow Burn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Once the gray vehicle rolled to a complete stop in front of a large redbrick building, I sunk further into my seat hoping that somehow it would swallow me whole. A loud, deep sigh sounded from next to me adding more thick air to the already tension filled car.

"Regina," My father spoke gently. From the corner of my eyes I watched him pinch the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, a habit that's only activated when he's trying to contain his sanity. "You're going to have to leave this car sometime."

As a reply I sat rooted to my seat, staring intently at the gleaming building stationed only a mere few feet from where we parked. My goal isn't to stress out my father by being completely stubborn. My goal is to show him how badly I don't want to do this. College has to be the last thing on my bucket list. Anything involving human interaction is what I tried with my earnest to avoid because it only made this curse I was born with more difficult to prevent.

"Please don't make me do this daddy." I pleaded softly, dread slipping further into the depths of my gut causing it to churn like butter.

"I'm not doing this to punish you, sweetheart." He felt the need to state for the fourth time today as if that would make me feel any better. "I'm giving you a chance at a normal life."

My face twisted at the statement and I had to force myself out of the car before regrettable words were exchanged. Immediately the sun beamed down on me, engulfing my entire body in so much light that I regretted wearing all black today. In the distance, other students were arriving either in cars that they owned or taxis causing me to feel quite self conscious about being in my near twenties and showing up with my father. I rounded the car until I reached the back where I waited for him to pop the trunk so that I could retrieve my suitcases and bring them to my inevitable doom. The minute he did, I trudged over to grab my bags.

"Can you try to see the bright side of this?" His question earned a sarcastic snort. "You love learning and you'll make friends while doing so, I know you will."

That made me want to scream but since I couldn't, I settled for crinkling my nose in clear displeasure at him. My father doesn't get it; I don't want to make friends. He'll never, truly, understand the pain of getting close to a person only to have front row seat tickets to a large screening of their death and I'm so over explaining it to him. "Can you just help me to my dorm?" I unintentionally snapped. Listening to him give off the endless possibilities of what going to a college nearly a thousand miles from home, not really, could offer is like listening to-well a parent telling you their version of what's best for you when you're capable of making that decision for yourself.

Personally, I was content with staying at home and learning from there. Books and television can teach you half of the things schools teach nowadays. Sure it can get lonely. Sure I wish I had the company of someone who wasn't my father nor my dog and sure I wanted to expand my knowledge beyond the books decaying in my house, but those urges weren't strong enough to defeat the guilt and fear of having the ability to see how everyone you meet will eventually perish. It could be in an hour, sometimes it's three days or three weeks maybe even years but majority of the time I wouldn't know. My visions tend to be hazy and I have to pinpoint key details in order to really determine what's going to happen; not that any of it matters in the end.

The dorm room surprised me; I half expected a tiny jail cell like box due to what I had read online. An actual room with a red carpet, that needs to be vacuumed, two twin beds lined up against the pale colored walls, a private bathroom, two rectangular sized windows partly connected allowing in large amounts of sunlight and a wooden desk with a chair is what I got instead. Not too bad. I still don't want to be here.

When I set down the suitcases I had been carrying, I turned to my father who did the same. Watching the way he slightly winced at the ache in his muscles from bending only reminded me of his old age and how much time he had left. His death will happen in a hospital. He'll be surrounded by flowers, white walls and the echo of his heart monitor. And I'll be there, sitting nearby as his last breath exhales from between his lips.

My eyes squeezed shut in attempt to push the image out of my head. When they blink open he's staring at me, his concern evident. "I'm fine. I'll call as much as I can."

He nodded, a weak smile on his face. It made me want to hug him so I did. And although the hug lasted for only a few seconds, it spoke a thousand words.

"Now remember what I said about limited contact and not interfering." He spoke once we separated. Now he's back to annoying me.

"It'll make everything easier. Got it." I said quickly, suddenly realizing just how hot the room is which brought my attention to the fact that I didn't pack a portable fan. My hand brushed back the dark strands of long hair sticking to my forehead; I could feel my temper growing short.

My father seemed to notice and chose not to speak any further on the subject. He stood still for a moment, smoothing his hands together, seemingly reluctant to leave so soon. "Do you need any help unpacking?"

"It's fine, daddy. I can handle everything from here."

This is where we parted ways. Him hesitantly exiting the room and me taking a seat on one of the stripped mattresses, eyes scanning the room and basking in being on my own for the first time. Only a few minutes later, when I had started to unpack, did I catch the sound of distant cursing coming from the hall and toward my room. Right, the whole roommate thing.

A head full of blonde hair swinging back and forth is the first thing I caught sight of being that the girl is entering backward, clearly occupied with dragging her bags into the room. "Stupid fucking piece of shit bags. God, I should bought one of those shits that roll."

"Do you need help?"

She quickly whirled around, crystal blue eyes wide in apparent surprise by my presence. "Oh my god, I had no idea you were there. Usually I'm always the first one who gets here but oh well." From what I can tell, she spoke in a natural fast pace, talked with her hands and laughed at her own sentences; something between a giggle and a short intake of breath. Speaking of hands, one is extending toward me in a greeting. "I'm Kathryn with a y not an i. Junior and apparently your new roommate."If energy could somehow be visible, Kathryn's would be bouncing from wall to wall.

Making sure to heed my father's advice, I made sure to keep contact limited. "Regina. Freshman and sort of a germaphobe, hope you don't mind."

Kathryn's hand retracted in a closed fist at her side, a smile still permanent on her face. "Oh! That's totally fine and aw, you're a baby. I'm totally going to make it my job to show you the ropes."

Kathryn's mouth ran a mile a minute while we were unpacking so it didn't take long for me to learn much about her. From what my ears could keep up with, she's 23 years old, majoring in business and hoping to be a CEO in the future. Attending this college for her third year meant that she knows the majority of people in the school; teachers and students. I told her what I could about me; some things are best kept secret. For instance, if I were to even pinch her there would be a flash of white and how she'll die will play before my very eyes. But sometimes it's tricky. A person could touch any part of my body, let's say my shoulder or my wrist, and nothing would happen but the minute their hand comes in contact with mine, even if it's a mere brush of the fingers, the curse activates. Neat, huh?

"Oh my jesus, it's hot in here." Kathryn finally took a breath after all the talking she did, using one hand to fan herself and the other to mimic a hair tie. While doing so, her eyes scanned the bags on the floor that belonged to her. When they stopped on a black duffel bag she released her hair, allowing it to drape over her back in curls, before diving to dig through it. "My first piece of advice to you, Regina, is to always have, " She pulled out a portable twin fan with a satisfied smile on her face. "One of these bad boys. But lucky for you, you have me. Aren't you so glad we're roommates?" She did this thing where her mouth opened in a silent laugh, her nose crinkled and she made her shoulders bounce in one single motion before she made her way to the window.

I forced a tight lipped smile that made my eyes squint. "Ecstatic." Lucky me indeed.

After we finished unpacking and decorating, sometime when the sky had darkened to an orange color, Kathryn gave me my second piece of advice by telling me the best way to get comfortable in college is by going to one of the very first parties. Claiming that the more faces I meet, the more assistance I'll receive if I need to find my way around campus. Going to a party is the last thing I wanted to do. Too many people that I could accidentally brush hands with and not to mention I've never been to one. Although I have to admit that I've always wondered if actual college parties were like the ones in the movies; crazy and memorable. My curiosity got the best of me and Kathryn enthusiastically dragged me to another dorm building; something about a sophomore rooming in a suite style dorm there that threw the best dorm building parties that was "freshman friendly".When I asked what that meant, she explained to me that most freshmen aren't given invitations but this one dispels that notion; allowing newcomers inside without an invite. She would've told me the name of the sophomore but she forgot her name. The only hint she gave me was a last name which was Dove "or something like that".  
Music couldn't be heard until you actually entered but other than that my expectation had been met. Semi loud music, loads of alcohol being served, people talking and dancing on one another, people throwing ping pong balls in red cups and generally having a good time. Well, if you put aside the few who were passed out drunk but I guess even they had a good time.

"Another piece of advice," Kathryn spoke over the music directly into my ear with a hand resting on my shoulder. "Don't be afraid to socialize. Meaning don't stand there looking like such a sour puss!" She laughed, shaking me slightly until the corner of my lips curved into a smile. I've been told nearly all my life that I come off as intimidating, not only because of the scar etched deep within my upper lip but because I rarely smile. If only people could understand that I had nothing to smile about.

"Are you okay being alone for a few seconds? I want to go get a drink." Kathryn asked.

You know, Kathryn may have given me a slight headache by how much she talked but I couldn't deny how nice she is and that I could've been roomed with someone much worse. "You don't have to babysit me, Kathryn. I can survive on my own."

"You sure?" I nodded and sent her away despite the weariness I felt after she disappeared into the crowd. Me not knowing how to be social due to my lack of acquaintances throughout majority of my life, stood there awkwardly hoping that someone might talk to me. From the looks of it, everyone is either in their own little world or already conversing with someone. I never had alcohol before and I didn't plan on drinking for a long time so that's out of the question. What I could use is a place to sit down. The minute I turned around and made a move to find a seat, I bumped into another person and nearly spilt their drink on them.

"Woah." The person-the girl extended her body backward in order to avoid the liquid.

"Sorry." I couldn't see her face due to the baseball cap she's wearing but I could see the straight blonde hair that fell out of it.

"Nah, that was my bad. I wasn't watching where I was going." She did a look over on her outfit, a grey T-shirt that merely covered her stomach and a red flannel over it, to check for any spills then she lifted her head with a smile and our eyes met. I've never seen eyes so pretty. Even with the shade of the cap the twin orbs appeared bright. Blue-no green-no hints of brown? Wait, all three. She literally held the Earth in her eyes and if that's not amazing I don't know what is.

"Wow, you're pretty." Did I say that? I blinked a few times, my stare zooming in on her mouth. Nope she did. I nearly knocked over her entire drink and she's complimenting me. She seemed to have caught herself because she squeezed her eyes shut momentarily and pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "And I'm tipsy." Her eyes opened once more. "Not that it affects my judgment. You're still really pretty."

"Thank you." I took my attention off of her, settling it on the guests with folded arms. I would've responded with a compliment because she is really cute, from her Earth colored eyes to the dimple in her chin, but I didn't know how to do so without coming off awkward or weird or both.  
Although my eyes were not on her, I could feel her eyes on me; seemingly studying me. "Are you new here?" She finally asked.

I glanced over at her. "Am I that obvious?" Seriously, there has to be hundreds of people in this university. She couldn't know everyone.

She grinned, revealing white teeth with sharp canines. "Your body language kind of screams 'Help, I'm a freshman and I have no idea what I'm doing here'." She explained before taking a long swing from the drink in the red cup she's holding, one of her arms casually draped across her flat stomach as her eyes watched over the party guests.

Observant or am I just an easy read? Doesn't matter, I need someone to occupy my time at this party. "Yeah, I'm not really a party type and this one seems kind of sleazy."

Her pink lips curved into a smile against the rim of the cup. She moved it away from her mouth and turned to look at me. "I just realized that I failed to introduce myself. I'm Emma. Swan. The host of this sleazy party."

I cringed. Way to go Regina; she compliments you and you insult her party. My face flushed in embarrassment, forcing me to use both of my hands as a shield. "I'm so bad at this." I murmured into my hands before placing them at my sides to finally face Emma who didn't appear upset at all. Only amused by my distress. "I'm sorry. I'm not good at talking."

"To people?"

"No. Just talking." I replied, earning this cute airy bell-like giggle from her.

"You're so cute." Third compliment within the past few minutes. I'm on a roll. "Can I know your name?" Unintentionally or not, she's biting her lip and eyeing me with her head tilted. I've never been flirted with before so I'm not exactly sure if that's what she's doing.

"Regina."

"Regina." She repeated causing me to look at her. The tip of her tongue peeked out from between her lips, positioning itself on her upper lip as she looked up in apparent thought. Her eyes met mine. "That means queen, right?"

"Yeah?"

I watched as her stare traveled down the length of my body before meeting my eyes once more. Did she just check me out? "I like it. Your name fits."

I stared at her for a moment, my eyes narrowed. "Are you flirting with me?" I blurted out because I seriously have to know if it's only my imagination.

She's laughing at me again and I frowned despite how pleasant her laugh may be. "I like you, Regina. You say whatever is on your mind. It's rare to find people like that."

That compliment made me look down and smile to myself. My father would always chide me for being blunt and here she is, a girl I just met, seeing one of my worst qualities as something worth recognizing. Just then, a thought ran across my mind and I chuckled lightly. Emma, biting on the rim of her cup, looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"My roommate, Kathryn told me that your last name was Dove."

She scoffed, moving the cup away from her lips. "That girl will never get my name right no matter how many times I tell her. But Kathryn's your roommate? How lucky are you."

"I feel like your being sarcastic."

Emma immediately shook her head. "I'm not. She may talk your ear off but she's super sweet, has tons of connections and she's a great influence. Try your best to make good friends with her."

"I'm not in the friendship making business." I deadpanned for an obvious reason. Well, not obvious. You can't exactly look at me and tell that I can see your death.

"Oh." One small two letter word held enough disappointment to make my heart clench. I managed to catch the small pout on her lips before she tried to hide it behind the cup. I felt bad but I have to protect myself by all means necessary. "Well, Regina, if you ever change your mind just know that I'll be around. You seem like an interesting person."

There she goes. Making me smile against my will again. Before I could reply, a girl two inches taller than Emma with dark brown hair and green eyes slung her arm across Emma's shoulders.

"Em, babe, Max threw up in our microwave again." She turned her attention to me, smiling. "Who's your friend?"

Nickname next to a pet name? Definitely her girlfriend. Meaning that Emma wasn't flirting with me. Why does that make me feel weird? I mean I guess it would've been nice to have someone be attracted to me for like the first time ever. Isn't that like a basic human need? The want to feel wanted?

"Um, this is Regina. Regina this is my best friend and roommate Ruby. Ruby Regina, Regina Ruby." Emma quickly introduced before gulping down the rest of her drink and handing the cup to Ruby. For some odd reason I felt relieved that Ruby is just a friend. Because that meant Emma was flirting and I wasn't imagining a scenario to boost my self esteem.

"Okay, Regina. I have to go attend to a person who doesn't know the difference between a basic kitchen appliance and a toilet." Being so caught up in starting into her eyes, I failed to notice her reaching for my hand, to gently rub the pad of her thumb across the back of it, until it was too late. "Until we meet again?"

There's a flash of white.


	2. Chapter 2

_Glittering stars painted the dark night sky; the moon giving the campus sidewalks a bright glow. Walking in the distance is a blonde girl wearing a red leather jacket, a phone held to her ear; Emma. Upon hearing heavy footsteps close behind her, quickening with each stride, she whirls around with the phone still clutched to her ear. Her long blonde hair blowing in the gentle wind, flowing across her face that now held a deep scowl with furrowed brows._

_"What are you following me now? What part of leave me alone don't you understand?" She snaps at the person._

_A hooded figure stands before her, strands of brown hair falling out of their hoodie. No face can be seen. Only a silhouette. They're completely silent._

_Emma rolls her eyes. "Look I don't have time for this. You have an issue with me? Cool. The feeling is mutual. But you creeping on me won't do any-" She pauses, seemingly listening to the person on the phone. "What?"_

_Slowly, the person standing before her pulls out the weapon hidden beneath their sweatshirt and Emma visibly pales. The person starts advancing toward her and she backs up, hands up in surrender._

_"This won't fix anything." Emma attempts to reason._

_Suddenly the vision skips. A panic stricken Emma is looking at something with wide eyes. "Stop!"_

_A large hunter's knife slashes deep across her chest, cutting off any further words._

My hand jerks out of Emma's gentle grasp, eliciting confused eyes from her. For a moment I'm so stunned that I find myself blinking rapidly, unable to believe what I just saw. Of all my years of watching the deaths of others through my own eyes, I've never witnessed someone actually get murdered. It left an unsettling feeling burrowed deep within my gut that there's a murderer in our midst.

"Regina? Are you okay?"

I force my eyes to focus on Emma; sweet, innocent Emma. How could anyone want to harm her? My lips part to speak and that's when I realize I'm trembling. Fearing that my voice may betray me, I let out a small and almost inaudible "Excuse me." before moving past her. I just wanted to go back to my dorm, sleep this off, and hope to never bump into Emma again.

I scan the mass amount of people for Kathryn, to tell her that I suddenly feel sick and needed to go to bed which isn't a total lie if you think about it. It wasn't too hard to find her; standing atop of a stool swaying to the beat of the music with closed eyes, no shoes and a red cup in her hand. I'm not even sure if she's drunk or just being herself.

"Kathryn." I call once I'm standing directly in front her.

Blue eyes blink open, casting down on me. A bright smile instantly forms on her face. "Heeeyy, baby roomie."

Drunk. Definitely drunk. How she managed to get drunk so fast, I have no idea. "Okay. I think it's time to go back to our dorm. Where are your shoes?"

Kathryn glances down at her feet then pouts at me. "I don't know." She scratches her head while scanning the room. "I can't remember..." Her sentence trails off and I'm sure it's because she lost her train of thought.

For a moment, I consider leaving her to figure it out by herself because I don't have time for this and, frankly, we're not friends. But if the roles were reversed, would she leave me? With a small groan, I roll my eyes and start searching for her shoes which happens to be right next to the stool she's standing on. "Look, your shoes are right there."

Being the drunk person she is, Kathryn attempts to lean down and pick up the shoes while on the stool. The result is that she loses her balances, forcing me to catch her.

"Not again." I sigh right before there's a flash of white.

_In a pure white room, rectangular windows shining in an abundance of sunlight, lay a woman on a hospital bed. Thin, faded blonde hair sprawled out against the pillows, tubes sticking out of both nostrils to help her take in slow, even breaths. Her wrinkled eyelids were closed and her thin body remained still underneath the sheet placed halfway on her._

_Seated in a chair next to her is an elderly man, deep brown eyes and near white hair. Both of his hands are enclosed around one of her's and they are placed near his lips, tears slipping out of his eyes as he watches her._

_"Kathryn," He begins, his voice strong yet quivering. "I don't know if you can still hear me, baby but...I just want you to know how much I love you. God I love you so much." He whispers the last part just as the monitor voicing her heartbeat flat lines._

_"Goodbye my love."_

I draw in a deep, shuddering breath.

"Oh my goodness, you total just saved my face from being destroyed by the floor." Kathryn's holding onto both of my arms, laughing at her own mistake. She then pulls me into a lazy hug, the kind where she leans her entire body weight on me and I have to hug back or else she'll slip to the floor. "Thank you, roomie. I'm so so glad your my roommate, Regina."

Perhaps befriending Kathryn will be good for me in the long run. And I find myself smiling, despite the smell of liquor wafting off of Kathryn and burning my eyes, because there's now someone in my life that's not exiting anytime soon. "Yeah. Me too, Kathryn."

* * *

 First day of classes and I'm already catching myself dozing off during a lesson. Not really my fault. Kathryn kept me up majority of the night asking me random questions until she finally passed out. What's really keeping me awake, besides the fear of being caught sleeping in class, is the vision of Emma I had the night before. My mind refused to let me erase the image of her getting sliced open. I wince at the thought of it. With over a hundred students in this university, it's going to be impossible to even make a guess at who her murder might be. Unless I become friends with her.

**Don't interfere.**

I blink the thoughts out of my head.  **Not my problem**. Once class is dismissed, I gather my books and head outside. To my surprise, I find Kathryn leaning on a nearby wall languidly chewing gum and wearing sunglasses.

"Hey, roomie." Kathryn pushes herself off the wall to walk beside me. "How was your first big girl class?" She questions playfully.

"Painfully slow. How's your big girl headache?"

"Painfully painful." Through her shades she squints, scrunching up her nose at the bright Sun. "An eclipse would be so great right now. Oh, almost forgot, I'm totally sorry if I kept you up last night. I didn't expect to get drunk so fast but don't worry I'm not an alcoholic or anything."

"Liar." Came from behind us, capturing both of our attention enough to make us turn to look. A young man with a boyish smile and side swept brown hair wrapped his arm around Kathryn's neck to pull her closer. He appeared oddly familiar. After a quick study, it hit me. He's the old man in the vision.

Practically beaming up at him, Kathryn playfully hit him in the chest. "Shut up. Regina this is Frederick, my high school honey. Frederick this is Regina, my new roommate." High school? They're basically soulmates and they don't even know it.

"Pleasure to meet you." He stuck his hand out in greeting only for Kathryn to smack it away, saving me the trouble of lying to him.

"She doesn't like shaking hands with people ergo don't touch her." Kathryn winks at me. "I got your back, roomie."

I muster a smile. "It's nice to meet you too."

"Babe, no offense, but you're ruining my apology to Regina. I was just about to give her a tour of the university to make up ruining her first night."

"Oh no, you really don't have to." I interject, shaking my head at the offer. Though it would be extremely beneficial, I prefer for Kathryn not to feel like she has to be my babysitter.

"You sure? This place is pretty big."

"I think I'll manage. Go hang out with your high school honey."

"I like her." Frederick grins and Kathryn rolls her eyes at him but a smile still spreads her lips. Hopelessly in love, that's what she is.

After waving goodbye and parting ways, I stand still momentarily and use my hand as a shade to scan the campus. This might be harder than I thought. Too many students and too much ground to walk. Where do I even start? Dropping my hand to my side with a small scowl, I whirl around and almost immediately slam into another person sending my books flying out of my grasp and onto the concrete.

"Shit." The person swears, bending down to pick up my books before I can myself. That's when I see a head full of straight, blonde hair and this is just what I didn't need today. Emma bounces back up to hand me my books with this lazy, side smile on her face. "I'm really sorry. I was kind of already standing behind you, not in a creepy stalker way, but I didn't know how to approach you and when I was about to you turned around."

"That's fine. Bye." **Dismiss the conversation. Walk away.**  I tried to do exactly that but a small "Regina, wait" stopped me right in my tracks. I squeeze my eyes shut and exhale deeply through my nose to collect myself before turning around to face her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm actually really glad I bumped into you, quite literally if I may add," Emma laughed at her own joke then quickly stopped and cleared her throat when she realized I'm not smiling. Not that the small joke wasn't funny, it's just that I'm more of a person who laughs on the inside. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened last night and how sorry I am."

At that my brows furrow downward in confusion. "What?" My memory scans the events of yesterday night coming up with nothing for Emma to apologize for. If anything, she was a complete sweetheart and thinking about that only makes me feel worse for attempting to dodge her.

"Yeah," Emma puts on a false smile to mask the grimace on her face, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. I notice that she's not making direct eye contact with me. Apparently she's embarrassed about something. "I obviously crossed a boundary last night and made you uncomfortable which is why you walked away so fast. Even if it was unintentional, I still caused you discomfort and I'm so sorry. I'll understand completely if you never want to speak to me again."

_Oh_. Although I'm sure I didn't physically express it, I'm shocked. Emma didn't play it off as me being weird, which most people would've done-which most people have done, she placed the blame on herself. Leading me back to the question: How could anyone want to harm her? I've never met someone who genuinely considered the feelings of another, especially me, so much. Now I'm stuck between making a decision. Emma's basically giving me a free pass to never speak to her again which is not necessarily something I want, more of something I need to protect myself. But with that pass comes a lie, a lie that's seemingly having an effect on her. She spared my feelings and I'm planning on not doing the same in return?

Maybe I don't have to lie. Maybe I can tell the truth and then keep avoiding her, I mean this is a big campus how many times am I likely to bump into her again? "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Emma." I state softly.

"Really? You're not just saying that to make me feel better are you?" Her big, bright eyes are gleaming with hope.

I chuckle lowly. "Trust me, if you made me uncomfortable I would've told you during the first 10 seconds of our conversation."

Emma breathed a huge sigh of relief, positioning her palm over her heart and grinning. "Thank god. I was so scared that you thought I was a complete creep."

I merely shook my head in response, looking her over. I've come to notice that not only do I have a thing for her eyes but for her smile also. The way it curves one side of her mouth and how she tilts her head slightly to the side to match it.

"So, Regina, do you need any help finding your way around campus?"

Limit your interactions. "Um, I think I got it." I answered hesitatingly, looking in each direction to pinpoint where I could start walking.

Emma replies with a small "Okay"and a smile that she tries to hide by puckering her lips. My eyes narrow in suspicion but I choose not to comment, instead I turn and walk away. After the first few steps toward the center of the campus I realize just how crowded and big everything is so I stop in my tracks to make an observation. It'll take me hours to figure out where everything is. Now I know why Emma had that look on her face. I close my eyes and shake my head, a small smile playing on my lips. I'm not sure whether I should be annoyed or amused by her personality.

When I turn back around and make my way towards her, she has a full blown grin on her face. "Got lost?"

"You be quiet," I point my index finger at her. "And just show me around."

Emma laughs then bows. "Right away, your majesty. You see what I did there? Because your name means queen? Isn't that clever?"

I roll my eyes but I catch myself wanting to smile. The same question still lingering in my mind: How could anyone want to harm her?


	3. Chapter 3

Emma's a really horrible tour guide. Majority of the spots we visited she didn't know the name of so she would settle for labeling it as "the place where people do shit"; those were literally her exact words. A portion of my mind has this lingering thought that the only reason she's doing this is to spend time with me because, honestly, she easily could have pointed me in the direction of someone who could do a better job.

"You're really bad at this." We're inside a part of the building where there are various stands put out advertising different clubs and organizations.

"It's my first day on the job, give me a break." She grins. One thing I have to give her credit for is her ability to withstand my bad habit of being blunt or what others have called it from time to time, rude. "Now, this is where the activities fair takes place. And here, you're most likely to receive multiple paper cuts on your arm from people shoving flyers at you. Beware."

"Thanks for the warning." I rotate my shoulder, wincing slightly at the strain my one strap bag is putting on it.

"You want me to carry your bag for you?" Somehow Emma caught sight of my pained expression which is surprising for me. Majority of the time my feelings go unnoticed by those around me.  
I opened my mouth to reject the offer but Emma had already stopped walking, her arm extended and awaiting for me to hand her the bag.

"Sure why not." I shrugged the bag off my shoulder, immediately feeling the great relief at the loss of the weight.

Emma took it and adjusted the strap so that it rested on her shoulder, across her chest. "I can definitely rock this."

"Rock it?" Truthfully, I've never heard that phrase before in my life.

"Yeah. Like, I can wear this in an awesome way. You never heard the term before?" She questioned as we continued to walk.

"Remember when I said I'm not in the friendship making business?"

"Ah." From the corner of my eye I watched her play with the strap of the bag. "Well, one of these days I could teach you all the different phrases that exists. All you have to do is ask."

At that, a small smile appeared on my face. Though her eyes were on me, I continued to stare forward. Why she wants to befriend me, I have no idea but I can't deny that her discreet attempts are cute. In the distance I spot the girl from the other night; Ruby. "Here comes your friend." Is my only reply.

Emma watches me for a moment then lets out this short breathy laugh almost in slight disbelief but mostly genuine amusement before shifting her attention to her friend nearing us. "Hey, Ruby."

"Hey." Ruby elongates the greeting, languidly draping her arm across Emma's shoulders.

"You remember Regina, right?" My eyes watch Emma's arm encircle Ruby's waist and I'm finding it difficult to believe that they're just friends.

"Oh, yeah. Hey, freshman."

My mouth twisted to  _the_  side. People referring me by a label instead of my name is one of my biggest pet peeves. "I was born with a name for a reason.  _Do_  use it."

Although Ruby continued to smile I could tell by the way she glanced over at Emma, eyebrows raised and mouth agape, that she was taken aback by my boldness. Emma, on the other hand, had the biggest grin on her face.

"My bad,  _Regina_." Ruby pressed her lips together and looked forward to contain her amusement. Once she did she let out a small huff as her eyes zoomed in on something. "Heads up, Em, straight ahead."

Emma squinted then let out an over dramatic groan. "Flyer coming your way, Regina."

My mouth opens to question her only to be interrupted by a girl half my size, wearing a pastel green dress, stepping directly in my path forcing me to come to a slow stop. Clutched in both of her hands are a stack of neatly decorated flyers.

"Hi." The girl beamed, bright blue eyes shining and auburn colored hair bouncing as she slightly swayed the upper half of her body. Her thick accent rang through my ears. "Would you be interested in joining our sorority?" She extended a flyer for me to take. I almost took the piece of paper but soft fingers gently pushing my hand back down prevented me from doing so.

"Unless you're interested in being hazed," Emma interrupts with a thin smile directed at the girl. The girl's eyes dart sharply to glare at Emma, a scowl in place. "Don't fall for her act."

"Emma. Ruby." She shifts so that she's no longer facing me. She tilts her head to the side and plasters a fake smile on her face. "Didn't see you there."

"Belle. Now you do." Emma and Ruby both match the facial expression simultaneously.

Belle's eyes narrow. "I see they allowed you back in the university. Who did you sleep with this time?"

My eyebrows raise in surprise. She seemed so nice.

Emma lets out a dry laugh. "Since you want to mention sleeping with others-how's Gold? Is he dead yet?"

I frown as I watch Belle's face gradually darken at the comment. Emma definitely struck a nerve. Perhaps she's not as sweet as I first assumed.

Belle exhales loudly through her nostrils, eyes falling close for a moment seemingly collecting herself before turning back to me, flyer in hand. "You can think about it. Recruitment dates are all 'll meet some really nice people, _people who aren't bad influences._ " She emphasizes.

"Come on, Regina, let's finish our tour." Emma says, taking me by my hand and encouraging me to walk away once I accept the paper. She waits until we're out of earshot to continue talking. "You're not seriously considering that are you?"

"Do I honestly look like the type that would enjoy living in a house with a bunch of arrogant girls who pretend to be nice?" I question, arching an eyebrow at her, whilst crumbling the flyer in both of my hands before turning away to toss it in a nearby garbage.

Emma's lips curl upward.  _"Damn._ " The curse comes out low, husky almost. I've never heard a word sound so attractive. It made me look at her once more and, of course, those earth colored orbs are studying me in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. "It really sucks that your friendship business is closed."

I swallow visibly and turn away. This was such a bad idea. Why did I let her give me a tour? Why did she have to be so charming and endearing? I blink a few times, clearing what can't be taken back out of my head. What I can do is change the subject. "So, what's Belle's problem with you two? And who's Gold?"

Emma smiles slyly. No doubt because she picked up on how I dodged the friendship topic for the second time today. "Let me just say, Belle has never liked me or Ruby."

"And it may or may not have something to do with us egging her sorority house, while drunk, during freshman year." Ruby adds with a hint of pride.

With a grin, Emma lightly nudges Ruby in the side using her hip. "To answer your other question, Gold is Belle's a billion years old boyfriend. Ergo, making him her sugar daddy. She think she's such hot shit because he's paying her tuition."

"Isn't that exaggerating just a bit? I'm sure he's not that old."

"Dude walks with a cane." Emma laughs. "He looks like a limping heart attack."

"One day, Em, she's going to hear you saying that and make use of that threat." Ruby's joke caught my attention.

"Threat?"

"Oh, yeah." Emma remembers nonchalantly and waves her hand as if to push the memory aside. "She screamed something about making sure I never get a chance to come back to this university. But here I am. Back for a second year."

My gut starts to twist again causing me to unintentionally look down and grimace. It seems that I have just found Emma's possible murderer and she's completely oblivious. This only brings me back to my reasoning for not befriending people. Watching them happily live out their last remaining days, weeks, months, without knowing their time is running fast and not being able to tell them leaves a pit of guilt in your gut. I find my hand settling over my stomach, fingers twisting the thin fabric of my shirt. I come to a halt, bringing Emma and Ruby to a stop a few inches before me. "I just remembered I have to do something. Back in, um, my dorm." I murmur.

Emma's eyebrows furrow downward. "You don't want to conclude our tour?"

"Let's conclude it here. You were a lot of help, Emma, thank you." I flash her a weak, half smile. "My bag."

Emma detaches herself from Ruby to move toward me whilst taking the bag off. "Do you have index cards or sticky notes in here?"

The out of the blue question confuses me but I find myself answering anyway. "Smallest pouch." I watch Emma fish through the pouch before taking out the pack of sticky notes along with a pen. She then proceeds to scribble something down and I try not to notice how her tongue peeks out from between her lips or else the quirk will add to the already too long list of things I'm starting to like about Emma Swan. When she finishes, her fingers neatly fold the small note into an even tinier square before handing it to me along with my bag with a smile. Not her usual side smile, this one is more sheepish.

"I know you're sick of hearing me mention this so this will be my last time bringing it up. That note is for if or when you decide to open up that business of yours." I glance down at the paper held between my fingers tips. "I know a customer who will love to chat about it with you over coffee."

She seems so hopeful. This is going to kill me. "I don't drink coffee." I avoid eye contact to make this easier. "Sorry." It comes out soft and low and then I'm walking away without another word. Saying sorry is something that I rarely do. It feels weird on my tongue. I look at the paper again and despite my mind being against opening the note, I do it anyways to find that she wrote down her number. Right next to the number is a smiley face.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I force my hands to rip up the note.

* * *

 

September weather is weird. Today marks my fifth day at college and it's already pouring down rain. On a regular non-college day I wouldn't mind; the atmosphere is great for sleeping in but those days are long gone. Being in a library for an hour, rain beating against the large fogged up windows and a textbook laid out in front me is what I have to look forward to for now on. Slumped over in my chair, my face resting in the palm of my hand, I continuously tapped my highlighter against the book that's making me drowsy just by reading it. I made sure to tap it loud enough to keep me awake but low enough so that it didn't disturb anyone in the library. I glance over at the large clock that reads the time 2:00. If I could just close my eyes for a second...just a second...one second...two second...three sheep...four sheep...

My eyes pop open. I'm laying face down on my textbook practically drooling on the pages. Cringing, I use the back of my hand to wipe my mouth whilst sitting up slowly to look at the time. 2:30. In front of me sits a white, lidded brown cup that usually contains coffee in it. That definitely wasn't there when I fell asleep nor was it there when I sat down. On the side of the cup is a yellow sticky note. I narrow my eyes but turn the cup sideways to read it anyway.

_Don't worry, it's not coffee. It's tea._

_-Em_

Almost immediately after reading who it's from I crane my neck to search for her. Right by the window, not too far down from where I'm sitting, I spot her hiding her face behind a book; the blonde hair in a ponytail being a dead giveaway. She slowly tries to sneak a peek at me from over the top of the book only to quickly duck back down when she discovers that I'm looking. Turning back around in my seat, a smile breaks out on my face despite my attempts of holding it back by biting down on my lower lip.

This girl is going to drive me insane.

I gather my belongings in one arm, sling my messenger bag over my shoulder, grab the tea in one hand and make my way to where she's sitting. Even when I plop down in the chair across from her, making my presence clearly known, she still remains hiding behind the book as if it's some invisible cloak.

"I can see you, Emma."

Emma moves the book, revealing her flushed face. "Please don't think I'm creepy. I'm not stalking you _I swear._  It just so happens that I came in this library like 30 minutes ago and I saw you fighting sleep and I know what it's like being a college freshman, sleep deprivation sucks by the way, and I wanted to help..."

"Emma." I can see that she's rambling or panicking, perhaps both.

"I was going to get you coffee but then I remembered that you hate coffee so then I thought I was totally out of options but then I remembered my mom used to scold me about drinking coffee all the time and that tea is a healthier substitute so I went and got you tea because, honestly, you look like a tea person..."

"Emma." I try again to stop her. I'm starting to get concerned because I'm sure that she's not taking breaths in between her sentences. Is she turning red? My head tilts to the side.

"So I was considering just leaving the tea there for when you wake up but then I realized how skeptical that is. Like who would drink a random cup of tea placed in front of them? That's when I got the idea of leaving the note so you would know that it's not poisoned with a date rape drug or anything because let me tell you college boys don't care what time of the day it is-"

"Emma." I say firmly, placing my hand over hers, successfully making her stop. A small chuckle breezes past my lips at her flustered appearance. "Hi." Not bumping into her for the past 2 days left me conflicted. On one hand, I was grateful for not having to deal with the discomfort that came along with rejecting her for simply wanting my friendship, also not to mention knowing that a sweet girl like her is not only going to die but get murdered. On the other hand, she wouldn't stay off my mind and that made it all the more difficult  _not_ to miss her. See why she's driving me insane?

Although Emma's clearly out of breath, the fast rising of her chest providing evidence, she smiles at me and musters out a small "Hi."

"I didn't think you were stalking me. I don't think you're creepy." I soothe, squeezing her hand with each sentence to emphasize my point. "Stop thinking that."

Emma nods, absentmindedly stroking the skin on my knuckles with her thumb. Each brush the pad of her finger provides left this tingling feeling on the spot it left; radiating throughout my entire hand. "Oh. I guess you want me out of your hair." She takes back her hand to start packing up and I find myself frowning at the loss. That feeling...I want to experience it again. This is all so confusing.

"Emma, wait." Oh how the tables have turned. Emma halts all actions, lips parted in question, body turned to the side but her eyes are on me; gleaming. I have to know if she's worth it. "What's your interest in me?" Too many people have used me too many times.

Emma's lips come together to curve into a genuine smile. She fully faces me, hands coming to rest on the table that's separating us. "You want me to be blunt?"

"Please do." Should I prepare for the worst? Is this all a dare? Like one of those movies where the cool kid gets paid by a group of friends to pursue the first freshman they see?

"Alright. Honestly, Regina, I just want to know you. Like your hobbies, your favorite movie, why you seem to have a vendetta against coffee." She grins making me smile in return. "I can't shake the feeling that everything you might tell me about yourself will always peak my interest. I don't know how to put this without sounding cliché so I'll just flat out say that you're different."

"Maybe it's just that you haven't met a variety of people."

"True." Emma nods. "But in comparison to the people I have met throughout my adolescent years, I can genuinely say I have yet to met someone quite like you. You're a mystery without a filter, one of those people that everyone needs to have in their life. And plus you're really cute with an awesome scar." She added the last part with a light laugh.

"Emma," I shake my head. "You may be very disappointed in what you find.  _Trust me._ "

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

I squint at her, tilting my head to the side. "Who says that  _I_ want to be your friend?"

"You wouldn't be sitting here talking to me if you weren't considering it." Emma counters.

"Touche, Swan."

I must admit, I've never met someone who would strive this hard to get to know another person. I guess that's what makes Emma different. Maybe Emma is one of those people that I need to have in my life. But at what cost?


	4. Chapter 4

Pushing open the door that led to my dorm room, I instantly felt a wave of relief at the sight of Kathryn standing near the vanity with a brush in hand.

"Good. You're here." I breathe out, shutting the door with one hand whilst setting my bag down with the other.

"Aw, I feel loved." Kathryn grins at me through the mirror while lifting her hair into a high ponytail. "This damn weather. I can't do anything with this frizzy mess." Once she finished, she twisted around to look at me with both arms propped up on the vanity. "What do you need, roomie?"

I take a seat on the edge of my bed, resting my elbows on my knees to thread my fingers through my hair before a small sigh breezed past my lips. I lift my head but I don't make eye contact with Kathryn. "Have you ever...like felt this tingling sensation when someone touched you? Even if it's just like your hand." Subconsciously, the tips of my fingers drew the same patterns Emma's thumb had traced not too long ago on the back of my hand. "Am I making sense?"

"Perfect sense." Kathryn assures with a single nod. "And yeah, I feel it plenty of times when Fredrick rubs my skin or even when we hug and his hands circle around my waist. It's called hormones. That and you might be crushing on this person."

I chuckle and say without much thought, "I'm definitely not crushing on Emma." Seconds after the realization that I voiced the thought aloud, my mouth goes slack and I'm met with Kathryn's surprised yet amused expression. "I mean-"

"That name is familiar. Why is that name so familiar?" Kathryn ponders then, to my dismay, she gasps loudly and starts excitedly pointing at me. I groan. "Emma! The Emma who throws parties? Oh my god, you like her?"

"No." I emphasize. "My body likes her, not my heart. There's a difference." At least I think there is. "We're just acquaintances."

"Good. You better hope it doesn't get to that point because she's a total asshole."

At that my eyebrows draw downward, forming a slight crease. "Emma? What do you mean? She's so nice."

"Yeah." Kathryn laughs, turning back around to look in the mirror. "That's how it starts off. Let me break it down for you. She'll start by drawing you in with her charming personality."

_**You want me to carry your bag for you?** _

"Along the way she'll say the absolute sweetest things."

_**Wow, you're pretty.** _

_**I like it. Your name fits.** _

"She'll make it impossible to not want to sleep with her. And once you do, you'll probably never hear from her again." Kathryn finishes.

_**Honestly, Regina, I just want to know you.** _

Everything Kathryn said adds up despite my insistent, not to mention desperate, want for it not to. My worst fear is being confirmed; Emma's playing me. "How do you know this?" I question, staring down at my lap. Both of my hands are gripping the edge of the bed, my fingernails making dents in the sheets. It can't be true.

"Emma gave herself a bit of a reputation when she first came here which is pretty impressive considering the fact that she was a freshman. Anyways, she went through girls like that." Kathryn snaps her fingers before switching directions to look at me. "Oh, Regina." I hear her say sympathetically. I must be grimacing, a habit of mine that usual happens when I'm trying to contain an emotion. Kathryn came over to take a seat next to me and on instinct I turn my head in the opposite direction. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"I know, Kathryn." I reply gently.

"You're my friend. I'd hate to see you be one of her latest victims."

Victim. I scoff lightly at that. In comparison to Emma, I'm hardly that. But using girls for her own selfish satisfaction? No wonder she's going to get murdered. I grimace again at the thought. Allowing my feelings to cloud my judgement isn't right. No person deserves to be murdered, period.

"Thanks, Kathryn. I really appreciate it." I glance over at her, forcing a smile on my face.

Kathryn returns the expression, remaining sympathetic, and puts a comforting hand on my leg. "You don't need people like that in your life. And besides," She perks up, beaming at me. "You have me."

Although it's nice to know that I have someone looking out for my well-being, it was also nice to believe that someone had a genuine interest in me. Guess not. Perhaps this is for the best. No longer will I have to be concerned or struck with constant guilt but, man, does being used hurt.

A low buzzing noise sounds from my pants pocket pulling me out of my inner thoughts. Half of the time I forget that I own a cellphone being that I only call/text a selective few. When I pull out the device I see Emma's name flash on the screen. Right, we exchanged numbers in the library. Apparently I had been contemplating on whether or not I should answer the call for much too long because beside me Kathryn clears her throat. Taking my eyes off to screen to focus on her, she arches an eyebrow and shakes her head.

I press decline.

* * *

 

The rain continues pouring until the following day, leaving the campus in a cold and gloomy atmosphere. In response to the weather, my hair became unnecessarily curly, reverting to its natural state giving me the appearance of a Raggedy Ann doll. To make my morning already more difficult than it has to be, when I walk into the school's café I spot Emma at one of the tables sitting across from Ruby. Immediately I switch directions to walk toward the opposite side of where they're seated, pausing at one of the vending machines. Why is it that everywhere I go somehow Emma ends up there?

I try to occupy myself by shoving a crinkled dollar bill inside the vending machine but my eyes seem to have other ideas as they wonder over to discreetly watch Emma and Ruby interact. They narrow at the sight of Ruby's hand languidly resting on the wrist Emma's resting on the table. Her thumb is drawing circles along the skin covered by a red hoodie, a smile on her lips as she gazes at Emma while she speaks. With the new information Kathryn has given me, my mind can't help but think how Ruby's most likely one of Emma's "girls". I turn away at the thought.

After punching in the numbers, a bit too hard, with my knuckles for a granola bar I stand and wait. The machine unwires unbearably slow and by the time the item drops down for me to pick up, I spot the last person I want to talk to nearing me. With a short sigh, I bend down to snatch up the granola just in time for Emma to stop near the machine.

"Regina, hi." Emma sounds far too happy to see me for a part of me not too feel bad. But I push that aside.

"Hi." I keep my voice flat. Instead of sparing her a glance I focus on putting my snack inside my bag.

"I texted you like a hundred times yesterday." Emma states with a small laugh and I finally look at her, watching the smile on her face waver. "Is everything okay?"

"Because I didn't text you back you assume that something must be wrong with me?"

"No-no, of course not! I wasn't trying to-I just-" I watch her become flustered, her tongue tripping over the words she's trying to formulate. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just-I meant...is everything okay, you know, between us?"

Me, not being one to beat around the bush, I reply with a simple, "No." before turning on my heel and walking away.

"Woah. Regina wait." Emma cuts in front of me, bringing both of us to a stop. Her lips are parted in silent question, eyebrows drawn down in confusion. "What happened? What did I do?"

"Not what you did but what you're planning on doing." Emma continues to stare at me, completely lost. "Befriending girls just to get them in bed and never speak to them again sound familiar?"

Once I said that Emma's face drops; her expression hardens. This is the first time since we met that I've seen her so serious. "Who told you that?"

A part of me had hoped that she would deny it. That she would tell me that it was just some nasty rumor and she would never do such a thing. But once again hope has proved to be overrated. "Doesn't matter. I refuse to be one of your numbers." I make a move to push past her but she takes my hand in hers and I find myself being pulled toward the entrance of the café. We stop just outside the double doors and I snatch my hand out of hers to fold my arms across my chest.

Emma glances around shortly, seemingly checking for eavesdroppers, then settles her attention on me. "I know what you're thinking."

My jaw clenches and through my teeth I snark, "That's rich." Arms still folded, I take a step toward her and my voice lowers. "You couldn't even begin to guess half of the things I'm thinking right now. Like how big of an idiot I am to actually believe that someone like you could take a genuine interest in someone like me." I shake my head at her, my stare shifting to the floor. "People like that don't exist. I should've known from the beginning that you wanted something."

"I don't want anything from you, Regina." Emma quickly tries to dispel the idea.

I bring myself to look at her once more. "And I'm just supposed to take your word for it? I don't even know you, Emma."

"Okay. You're right." Emma says softly, nodding her head. "You barely know me and I barely know you so asking for your trust is out of the question. But what I can do is ask you to listen. Please?"

I contemplate ignoring her and everything she has to say, not to be mean but for the sake of protecting myself from the potential, emotionally harmful information I don't wish to learn. But Emma truly brings the quote, "Eyes are windows to the soul", to life. Her eyes are practically pleading to me to listen and I find myself unable to deny her. "Talk."

There's an instant expression of relief on her features and her body exhales a deep breath that she most likely had been holding. "I refuse to lie to you because the thing I hate the most in this world are liars. What I  _did_ ," She emphasizes the word to make sure I'm aware that it's past tense. "was wrong and vile. In no way am I trying to justify my behavior but I just want you to know that I will  _never_ do that to you. Freshman year, I came to this college in pretty bad shape from a difficult situation and…I chose to work it out on people who didn't deserve it. I don't want people to see me as my past, especially not you. Who I was is not who I am, I swear."

I study her for a moment in an attempt to detect any signs of lying, finding none. Apparently Emma took my silence as a sign of me needing more convincing because she starts up again.

"I don't want to have sex with you, Regina." Suddenly, a flash of panic overtakes her features. "Not that you're not attractive or anything! Obviously you are and I would be extremely lucky to-oh my god." She covers her face with both hands, the sleeves of her large hoodie providing more coverage. That settles it. Emma doesn't have malicious intents, she's just a huge dork who embarrasses herself with words and turns red as a result. "Now you must think not only am I disgusting but a huge idiot." She says through her hands before moving them from her now slightly flushed face. "I'm going to go jump off a bridge now."

"Emma." I try to maintain a serious demeanor and not break out into a smile but around her it's impossible. Especially because she's subconsciously pouting. "You are an idiot."

"Time to go find that bridge." She says jokingly, pretending to make a move to leave. It's when I let out a soft laugh that she pauses, a smile curving the corners of her mouth. "That's nice."

I arch an eyebrow in question. "What is?"

"Hearing you laugh. Even if it is because you think I'm an idiot, I rather have you think that than anything else."

_This girl is killing me_.

A sudden feeling of guilt twinges in my stomach; I was on the verge of ripping Emma's head off with my teeth. "I feel like I should apologize."

"You shouldn't and you definitely don't have to. You found out that I did some pretty bad stuff and you confronted me about it like any normal person would. It's in our nature to protect ourselves, right?"

She has no idea how right she is. "Right. But just to be safe; I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you've been nothing but genuine since we first met." I need to hear it or else it will bother me probably for the rest of my time at this college.

"Regina," Emma starts, her eyes connecting with mine. "Everything thing I said, every compliment I gave, every gesture I made had no further intents behind it. I promise you have nothing to worry about. Okay?"

After a while I breathe in and exhale deeply, releasing all the tension from my body before nodding. "Okay."

A brief silence occurs and Emma's eyes stay on me, she doesn't say a word. Right when I'm about to question why she's staring at me like that, she half smiles and tilts her head to the side. "So. Your hair is naturally curly."

"Oh. Yeah." I frown. "Don't talk about it."

She laughs. "I like it."

"You seem to like a lot of things about me."

Emma merely shrugs, sporting that same lopsided smile on her face. "Can you blame me? Which brings me to my next question: Do you have any classes starting soon?"

Despite the question being completely out of the blue, I shake my head no as a reply. "Not until the afternoon. "Why?"

"Opportunity. I'm dying to know more about you, Regina." She sincerely admits.

I try not to cringe at her use of the word "dying" but my mouth does twist to the side in slight distaste. Hopefully she didn't notice and take it the wrong way.

"I mean you don't have to hang with me." She definitely noticed. "You're probably busy and stuff." When her voice lowers to a murmur and she settles for looking down at the ground in attempt to mask her obvious sadness, I feel a piece of my heart break off.

"What do you have in mind?" The sight of Emma's eyes becoming impossibly brighter is what makes me realize it's time to stop denying myself the simple pleasures of life.


	5. Chapter 5

Emma's dorm suite is exceptionally freezing; the rain being of really to blame as it patters against the windows. The space is much larger than I remember, now that it's not cluttered with people, and I'm able to fully see the set up of its interior. Specifically the exact spot in the main lounge where we first introduced ourselves to one another. My lips quirk upward at the thought despite the fact that I'm slightly shivering where I stand.

It takes a mere glance for Emma to tell that I'm uncomfortably cold. "Sorry it's so cold in here. Normally I would suggest going into the room I share with Ruby because there's a heater but after the conversation we had, that would probably sound too suggestive. Right?"

"Emma," I chuckle lightly, shaking my head. "I get that you don't want to push boundaries but I'm on the verge of hypothermia. So please."

"Understood." Near the entrance, on an adjacent wall, is another wooden door. Emma twists the knob, pushes it open and motions for me to walk inside with a single wave of her arm.

The room is roughly around the same size as me and Kathryn's, the set up resembling ours also. I guessed the side that belongs to Emma simply by examining the posters on the wall, a few being of rock n roll legends. She seems like the type. That and there's a couple of Polaroids of baby Emma.

"You can sit either on the bean bag chair or on my bed; doesn't matter." Emma cracks the door then walks over to check if the heater is on.

I take a seat, more like fall and sink, on the red bean bag chair a few inches near the foot of Emma's bed, facing it.

"Are you still cold?" Emma questions as she walks over to take a seat next to me on the floor. She leans her back against the wood of the bed, her knees halfway bent so that they don't entangle with my outstretched legs.

"My hands are still kind of numb but I'll live." I reply, rubbing my tingling fingertips.

"Oh, here, let me." Emma extends her palms flat in my direction and in return I glance at them. Then I glance at her face and one of my eyebrows arches in question. "I've been told I give off a weird amount of body heat." She shrugs.

Fair enough.

When I slid my hands to cover hers, I realize that it's going to be impossible to forget how soft they are. "Oh, oh they are warm." My genuine surprise makes her laugh as she closes her hands over mine.

"So usually when I'm trying to get to know a person," Emma starts and I find myself struggling to pay attention to what she's saying. Her thumbs are doing that thing on the back of my hands again and because of the sensation, I'm loosing the ability to concentrate. Good thing her eyes are focused on the task of getting my hands warm which, if I may add, had already been achieved the minute we made contact. "I do it through a game of 21 questions because it makes things fun." Her eyes meet mine and she smiles playfully at me, the top row of her teeth bite down on her lower lip. "Wanna play?"

So much for not being suggestive. I breathe out a small laugh at the thought. "Sure, why not."

Emma makes this little squealing noise out of excitement and if it were any other person I would find it irritating. Emma's somehow different. A cute kind of different-of course I mean that in the most platonic way.

"My way of playing 21 questions is that each person gets to ask five questions of their liking and we go back and forth. If the subject is too touchy just say so. Okay?"

"That doesn't sound like much fun."

Emma laughs. Now she's just absentmindedly holding my hands, allowing them to rest on her bent knees. "Trust me it is. Look I'll start. What's your favorite color?"

"That's not really important."

"It is to me." Emma quickly counters.

"What does me telling you my favorite color have to do with anything?"

"Oh my god, Regina, that's how the game goes. I ask you anything and you answer."

I sit in thought for a moment before giving up and asking, "Can I say pass?"

"We're playing 21 questions not charades. Just answer."

"Okay. Fine. Um...blue." I reluctantly answer before immediately huffing. "Emma, I feel ridiculous."

Emma breathes out a gentle laugh, her head bowing for a moment before she lifts it back up. "You're not use to having someone's full attention on you."

"Is that another one of your questions?"

Emma shakes her head slightly, her crystal eyes roaming and studying my face; darting back and forth as if searching for an answer imbedded in my expression. "An observation. I do have a question for you though: Do you know that your hands are shaking?"

I'm tempted to tell her how stupid the question is because of course I know that my hands are shaking. They belong to me after all. But I don't; instead I settle for shrugging because I don't really understand why my hands are shaking and the fact that she noticed, despite me wishing she didn't, is embarrassing. "I'm cold."

"My hands are shaking too." Emma completely ignores my excuse. She interlaces our fingers together, pressing our palms flat against one another. "Can you feel it?" Her eyes are on me and my eyes are on our hands.

It takes a short while but eventually I do. In a way it's comforting knowing that her body reacts the same way mine does. "Why are you shaking?"

"Honestly? You make me nervous. So, so nervous." She admits in a breathy, sheepish laugh. Though it may seem wrong, the piece of information makes me happy in the strangest way. "Is that the same reason you're shaking?"

"Maybe." In other words, yes. I've realized that now because she brought it to my attention. Emma seems to understand that because she nods.

"Well, this," She raises our intertwined hands for emphasis. "Is a good thing. It's genuine. Would you feel more comfortable if I let go?"

"No." I object quicker than necessary. My face is flushing, I'm sure of it. "I mean-you're warm and, you know, I'm cold."

Emma tries to suppress a smile as she replies with a soft, "Okay.", her eyes boring into mine.

"Do I make you nervous in a bad way?"

"You make me nervous in the best way possible, Regina." Emma answers and a weight is lifted. "Do I make you nervous in a bad way?"

The side of my mouth quirks upward. "Think of your own questions, Swan."

"Speaking of questions and last names," Emma begins, her face expressing realization. "I don't think I know yours."

"Oh. It's Mills."

"Mills." Emma repeats, nodding. At first I thought nothing of giving the information. That, is, until I could see the gears in Emma's head turning through parted lips and unblinking eyes staring at nothing in particular. When she looks at me, I bite down on my bottom lip. She squints and tilts her head to the side. "You wouldn't...by any chance, have any relation to-"

"Cora Mills?" I finish expectingly, an eyebrow arched. "My mother."

Emma's lips form an O shape. "Holy shit." Then she's leaning toward me, resting on her knees, with wide eyes. Unintentionally, I glance at her lips before quickly averting my stare back to her eyes. "You're the daughter of the mayor of this town? That must've been awesome."

"Former. Mayor." I correct rather quietly, pressing my lips tightly together.

Emma's excitement instantly simmers down, a look of complete horror slowly takes form. She leans back, her mouth agape. "Oh my god." Her hands reach up to cover her face. "Oh my god, I'm such a terrible person. I'm so sorry for bringing her up. I completely forgot what happened. Damnit." Emma moves her hands from her face to thread her fingers through her hair, avoiding eye contact whilst silently cursing herself.

About fourteen years ago my mother, the mayor of StoryBrooke, was murdered by an intern she was having an affair with. He shot her in cold blood inside of her office before killing himself. It made the top story for weeks and at age seven, I had already seen it happen. For a while I have tried to repress the memory and I have succeeded up until now. I break away from my own thoughts by blinking one good time. "No. No, Emma, it's okay. We were never really close anyway."

"Really?" Emma looks at me, one hand still gripping a section of her blonde hair. "You sure I didn't trigger you or anything?"

I shake my head, inhaling deeply. At least I don't think she did. I don't feel the need to cry or hide because of the memory-in fact, there's an insistent need to speak about it. "Being the mayor's daughter wasn't as awesome as you'd assume it would be. My mother spent majority of her days in the office leaving my father to watch over me and on the days she did receive a break she would rarely come home. I think the only time I had ever really made any actual contact with her was around the time we took a picture for a news article." That's when the flash happened. For the first time in years my mother showed any remote affection toward me and I watched her die. The hand holding the gun had a gold ring on it, the same gold ring her intern always wore. "I remember crying that day," As of now, I'm no longer speaking to Emma nor looking at her. "And she yelled at me for ruining the portrait then told my father to take me home. I'm sure that furthered her hatred for me."

"I doubt she hated you, Regina." Emma's soft statement centers my attention on her once more.

"Oh no she did." I nod. "That's why she gave me this scar-actually, it's the only memory I have of her." My mother may have hated me but I couldn't hate her. That's why I tried to save her. I told my father about her affair with the hope of putting an end to it. When he confronted her she, I'm not sure how, immediately knew that I told and hit me across the face, her diamond ring splitting my lip. Not only did I end the affair and my parent's marriage, I ended my mother's life. Her intern couldn't take the thought of them splitting up and, well, you know how that story goes.

"Regina. Regina?" Emma's angling her head to catch my eye.

Realizing that I must've zoned out, I blink a few times and my eyes meet Emma's sympathetic blue ones. "Sorry. I have no idea why I told you all of that." Suddenly I feel incredibly vulnerable.

"It seems like this is the first time you've talked about it out loud."

"It is." I nod once before narrowing my eyes. "Don't tell anybody about this."

Emma extends her pinkie finger in my direction, a gentle smile on her face. "You confided in me and I'll never betray that for as long as I live. Pinkie promise."

I'm torn between wanting to laugh at Emma's childlike tendency in believing that hooking pinkies could possibly hold something as great as a promise and wanting to cry at the mention of her lifespan. People like her shouldn't be taken out of this world, it's unfair.

I push back those thoughts with a gentle chuckle and hook my pinkie with hers. "You're a child."

Emma hums a response. She's smiling with her bottom lip in between her teeth. "You still like me." She teases, tilting her head slightly to the side in motion with each word.

Not being able to deny the statement, I settle for scrunching up my nose and playfully glaring at her before snatching my pinkie from her's. The laugh my reaction elicits from her only adds to the already growing, not to mention annoying, list of things I like about Emma Swan.

* * *

 

By the time we reached outside, the rain had stopped but the sky remains clouded over. Emma decides to busy herself by jumping to avoid every puddle and, my god, she's such a five year old yet I find myself grinning at her like an idiot.

"You're either going to bump into somebody or you're going to fall." I say as we near the building.

Emma twirls around to walk backward, smirking at me. "I'm the most well balanced person ever." She brags. The minute she spins back around, the door to the building opens and Emma slams directly into a lady, a nun to be specific, walking out of it sending a few books falling to the floor.

Well, I did warn her.

Being the nice person she is, Emma immediately and repeatedly apologizes, bends down to gather the person's belongings and hands it to them. It when they make eye contact that a slow, wild grin spreads across Emma's lips meanwhile the woman tries her best to maintain her composure. Despite me being slightly confused at the exchange I remain silent behind Emma.

"Mother Superior." Emma says in greeting, her tone slightly mocking.

Mother Superior clears her throat, tilts her chin high and does a single nod. "Good day." Is all she says before moving past Emma to walk away with her books held tightly against her chest.

I continue to watch the woman practically speed walk away from us, as if we had some contagious sickness. When I turn to look at Emma, a brow arched in question, she seems highly amused as she holds open the door for me with her back resting on it. "I'm laughing because she hates me. So so much."

"Why's that?"

"Well, Jesus is her best friend and if you haven't noticed already, I'm very very queer."

"Ah."

"That and I may have made out with a girl in the chapel she practically lives in. And I may have or may have not been intoxicated."

"You're horrible." I chuckle. When I glance back for a moment I notice that Mother Superior is still in my line of view and apparently me and Emma are in her's as well. She quickly looks away then scurries off leaving a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"You're going to be late for your class if you continue to stand here all day." Emma voice brings my attention back to her.

I merely nod in agreement, taking a step forward inside the building only to stop myself and retreat to cast my eyes on Emma once more. My mouth opens and, for a short moment, I hesitate to speak because I'm not too fond with expressing myself. "Thank you, Emma."

"Yeah, of course. Chivalry isn't completely dead." She replies.

"What?" Oh, she thinks I'm referring to her holding the door. I laugh at the realization and shake my head. "No, not for holding open the door. For...listening to me and taking what I said into account."

A gentle smile curves Emma's lips and she tilts her head slightly to the side, her blonde hair falling off her shoulder. "Of course. Anything for you, Regina." The statement is soft, genuine. And for the first time my stomach clenches, not from anxiety but from something deeper. "Until we meet again?"

I narrow my eyes a bit. "Why do you say that? A simple goodbye or see you later would be sufficient, you know."

Emma's smile only grows. "See you later is too broad. Goodbyes are too permanent." She explains simply then bites down on the corner of her lower lip, eyes penetrating my own. "And I don't want to say goodbye to you anytime soon."

Neither do I, Emma.  
Neither do I.


End file.
